Via hbr.org Article
When You’re Annoyed by a Colleague, Take a Look in the Mirror
“Sometimes you work with someone you just don’t like. Maybe your colleague rubs you the wrong way, disagrees with you constantly, or is arrogant and entitled.
Before you start pointing fingers, take a look in the mirror. Consider how you might be contributing to the problem, and try to objectively assess what you may have done to escalate the issue. Or ask a trusted colleague for their perspective. The goal is to test your assumptions.
You may think it’s all the other person’s fault, but that’s rarely the case. What you’re reacting to may have little to do with the other person, and more to do with your own history. It’s possible that the person reminds you of an obnoxious sibling or an old rival. Or maybe you can be a bit of a control freak, and your frustration comes from being unable to call all the shots.
If you can understand what you’re bringing to the situation, you’ll know better how to address it.”