This is the key

By Justin Bariso via inc.com   Article

This Is the Key to Building Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence, also known as EQ, describes a person’s ability to recognize his or her own emotions, as well as those of other people; to understand the powerful effect of these emotions; and to use that information to guide thinking and behavior. Since it helps you to better understand yourself–and others–EQ greatly increases your chances at achieving success. …

How do you do make sure you’re listening effectively? Make sure to do the following:

1. Don’t interrupt.

When we interrupt, not only do we cut short the learning experience but we risk not learning anything at all. Think about it: If you’re already thinking of what you’re going to say while the other person is speaking, you’re surely not listening to (or learning from) them. …

2. Focus.

Have you ever tried to speak to someone who is obviously distracted? I once had a colleague who had the annoying habit of looking around when I was speaking to him. … Above all: Put away your phone.

3. Don’t agree just to make them feel better

… out of habit, you might say something like ‘Right, right,’ or ‘Yeah, that’s true.’ In the other person’s mind, you’ve just validated their points. This type of conversation leads to gross miscommunication. Instead, use phrases like: ‘I see what you mean.’ Or, ‘I can understand why you might feel that way.’ This confirms that you’re listening, without taking sides. …

4. Ask good questions.

When you show genuine interest in others, they’ll respond. Ask them questions about their background, their goals–current and future. If they’re frustrated, don’t jump to conclusions. Ask for details. …

5. Resist the urge to provide a solution.

… Immediately offering a solution often sends the wrong message, such as: ‘This problem is easy to solve; just do this.’ The other person will likely feel that you’ve oversimplified things, and you probably have. Remember point two: You need to ask questions to make sure you fully understand the situation. This takes time.”

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