The truth

By Deb Bright via   Article

The Truth Doesn’t Have to Hurt

“Let’s face it, just about everyone hates criticism – it’s the least sought after form of human communication.  But, criticism doesn’t have to be all that bad. As a matter of fact, current research on the subject shows that the more one learns about how to give and receive criticism, the more they come to discover that it can open doors to the achievement of personal goals and successes never dreamed possible.  By understanding a few skills involving criticism, whether as a giver or receiver, it can become a significant asset towards your personal success as a leader or manager. Once you learn some tenets on how to give it so others actually welcome it, or how to accept it as a form of self-advancement, you will know more than just about anyone you come in contact with. You might even come to consider it a kind of personal competitive edge. …

The source of our discomfort with it can be traced to the fact that mostly all of us never developed the skills necessary to ensure that the criticism we give is received as intended. As receivers we lack the skills of looking for what is potentially helpful rather than what is argumentative.

…it’s important to recognize that your control lies in proper preparation.  This involves considering such things as how to express the criticism (tone of voice), when (timing), where (privately is best), and by whom (in bounds of your relationship). What’s required is always making these preparatory considerations a matter of habit aka – ‘thinking before you speak.’ …

Your goal is not to be comfortable when giving criticism; rather, the goal is to be effective.  You need to step outside yourself and factor in what you understand to be the receiver’s preferences and needs.  When you do this, you are putting aside the ‘All About Me’ approach and practicing a more appropriate adage that says, ‘treat others the way they want or need to be treated.'”



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