This evil tool

November 24, 2014

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Leadership whys

November 24, 2014

By  via blog.startupprofessionals.com   Article

Leadership Mistakes Plague Every Startup Founder

  1. “I’m a good leader. So why do I sometimes act like a bad one? According to the evidence, good bosses go bad (temporarily versus the chronically horrible), for three overarching reasons – too busy to win, to proud to see, or too afraid to lose. Every leader needs to check and enhance his self-awareness to recognize and avoid these.
  2. Why don’t people heed my sage advice? Many people use the terms influence, persuasion, and manipulation interchangeably. But each carries its own specific meaning. Influence requires winning minds and hearts to inspire action. Persuasion intellectually stimulates a person to action. Manipulation is seen as insincerity, and it gets non-action.
  3. Why do I lose my cool in hot situations? Stress comes in two distinct forms: good stress and bad stress (distress). Managed effectively, stress is a good thing, leading to survival. But chronic stress and distress results in overreaction to non life-threatening events. Schedule an on-going reality check with trusted advisors to know the difference.
  4. Why does a good fight sometimes go bad? A good fight in business is called healthy competition. Unfortunately, feelings of envy and inferiority can quickly turn healthy competition into a knock-down, drag-out fight between people and companies, turning a win-win situation into a lose-lose one. Check all your emotions at the gate.
  5. Why can ambition sabotage success? Every leader needs to balance ambition with humility, restrain one’s ego, treat others with respect, create positive impressions, and adopt a long-term perspective of success. Don’t let a “nearsighted” view cloud the “big-picture” view; success in the best interests of all. Contemplate your legacy to others.
  6. Why do people resist change? The brain’s hard wiring pre-disposes us to habitual behavior and decision making. We let biases influence our reaction to change and our ability to make decisions that cause change. To thrive you need to become more aware of biases and psychology behind your own and your people’s responses to change.
  7. Why do good teams go bad? Humans have always affiliated with groups and teams in order to survive and thrive. Group dynamics are not always good, including “us” versus “them” mentality, group conformity, social loafing, and emotional contagion. Leaders need to manage these dynamics to keep from falling prey to negative group behaviors.
  8. What causes a star to fade? When start performers fade, it’s almost always a failure to remain engaged with the people and the job. Smart leaders must constantly monitor the four essential elements of engagement: social connection, leadership excellence, aligned culture, and meaningful work and life. Engagement drives performance and satisfaction.”

Freedom, humiliation, and joy

November 24, 2014

By  via industryweek.com   Article

Dr. Deming: ‘Management Today Does Not Know What Its Job Is’

IW: What then is the source of innovation?

Dr. Deming: The source of innovation is freedom. All we have—new knowledge, invention—comes from freedom. Somebody responsible only to himself has the heaviest responsibility. “You cannot plan to make a discovery,” Irving Langmuir said. Discoveries and new knowledge come from freedom. When somebody is responsible only to himself, [has] only himself to satisfy, then you’ll have invention, new thought, now product, new design, new ideas.

IW: How does a company, a research manager, a manager of people create an environment where there is freedom?

Dr. Deming: Give people a chance to make use of their diverse abilities, capabilities, family life, education, hopes. Help them to accomplish their aim.

lW: One of your more controversial ideas is eliminating performance evaluations.

Dr. Deming: Well yes, because you cannot measure performance. Appraisal of people is ruinous. You cause humiliation, crush out joy of learning, innovation, joy on the job. Most of what anybody does is governed by the system that he works in. You are not evaluating him, you are evaluating the interaction with him and the system, the rules and constraints he works in. …

Dr. Deming: The alternative is joy on the job. To have it, people must understand what their jobs are, how their work fits in, how they could contribute. Why am I doing this? Whom do I depend on? Who depends on me? Very few people have the privilege to understand those things. Management does not tell them. The boss does not tell them. He does not know what his job is. How could he know? When people understand what their jobs are, then they may take joy in their work. Otherwise, I think they cannot.”


Regrets

November 24, 2014

By Joe Martino via huffingtonpost.com   Article

The Top 5 Regrets Of The Dying

“A palliative nurse recorded the most common regrets of the dying and put her findings into a book called “The Top Five Regrets of The Dying.” It’s not surprising to see what made the list as they are all things that touch each of our lives as we struggle to pay attention to and make time for things that we truly love. …

One thing on regret before we get to the list. It’s important to remember that whatever stage we are at in life, there is no need for regret. The process of regret is one that provides nothing but suffering for ourselves as we begin to allow the past to dictate how we should feel now. Instead, we can use the past as a reference point to understand what adjustments we would like to make moving forward. …

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. …

2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard. …

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings. …

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. …

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier. …

Source:
The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing

 


Science-based conversation hacks

November 17, 2014

By  via bakadesuyo.com   Article

How To Make People Like You: 6 Science-Based Conversation Hacks

1) Encourage people to talk about themselves …

Talking about ourselves—whether in a personal conversation or through social media sites like Facebook and Twitter—triggers the same sensation of pleasure in the brain as food or money, researchers reported Monday…

2) To Give Feedback, Ask Questions

If you use questions to guide people toward the errors in their thinking process and allow them to come up with the solution themselves, they’re less likely to feel threatened and more likely to follow through. …

3) Ask for advice

Stanford professor Jeffrey Pfeffer, persuasion expert Robert Cialdini and many others have all recommended asking for advice as a powerful way to influence others and warm them to you. …

4) The Two-Question Technique

Ask them about something positive in their life. Only after they reply should you ask them how they’re feeling about life in general. … A positive answer on the first question will lead to them feeling more positive about their life in general when you ask the second question. …

5) Repeat The Last Three Words

… What’s the quick and dirty way to do active listening without training? … ‘simply repeat—or parrot—the last two or three words your companion said, in a sympathetic, questioning tone. That throws the conversational ball right back in your partner’s court.’

6) Gossip — But Positively

Research shows what you say about others colors how people see you. Compliment other people and you’re likely to be seen positively. Complain and you’re likely to be associated with those negative traits you hate.

 

 


What matters most

November 17, 2014

By 

The Holstee Manifesto sits above my fireplace. A reminder to live a life of purpose and meaning.

This is your life. Do what you want and do it often. If you don’t like something, change it. If you don’t like your job, quit. If you don’t have enough time, stop watching TV. If you are looking for the love of your life, stop; they will be waiting for you when you start doing things you love. Stop over-analysing, life is simple. All emotions are beautiful. When you eat, appreciate every last bite. Life is simple. Open your heart, mind and arms to new things and people, we are united in our differences. Ask the next person you see what their passion is and share your inspiring dream with them. Travel often; getting lost will help you find yourself. Some opportunities only come once, seize them. Life is about the people you meet and the things you create with them, so go out and start creating. Life is short, live your dream and wear your passion.”


Are women better decision makers?

November 17, 2014

By Therese Huston via nytimes.com

“RECENTLY, Senator Kirsten Gillibrand of New York said that if we want to fix the gridlock in Congress, we need more women. Women are more focused on finding common ground and collaborating, she argued. But there’s another reason that we’d benefit from more women in positions of power, and it’s not about playing nicely.

Neuroscientists have uncovered evidence suggesting that, when the pressure is on, women bring unique strengths to decision making.

Mara Mather, a cognitive neuroscientist at the University of Southern California, and Nichole R. Lighthall, a cognitive neuroscientist now at Duke University, are two of the many researchers who have found that under normal circumstances, when everything is low-key and manageable, men and women make decisions about risk in similar ways. We gather the best information we can, we weigh potential costs against potential gains, and then we choose how to act. But add stress to the situation — replicated in the lab by having participants submerge their hands in painfully cold, 35-degree water — and men and women begin to part ways. …

Across a variety of gambles, the findings were the same: Men took more risks when they were stressed. They became more focused on big wins, even when they were costly and less likely. …

But the closer the women got to the stressful event, the better their decision making became. Stressed women tended to make more advantageous decisions, looking for smaller, surer successes. Not so for the stressed men. The closer the timer got to zero, the more questionable the men’s decision making became, risking a lot for the slim chance of a big achievement. …

WHEN women were stressed, however, from having to give a public speech, they actually found it easier than usual to empathize and take the other person’s perspective. Just the opposite happened for the stressed men — they became more egocentric.”