Pushover or Jerk?

By Amy Morin via forbes.com   Article

Do Your Counterparts See You As A Pushover Or A Jerk? Study Shows You May Be Oblivious

“When considering how your boss, co-workers, or other professional contacts behave, it’s likely you can quickly pick out “the jerk,” and “the pushover” in the crowd. But, have you ever stopped to think how your counterparts view you? Perhaps you assume you have a reputation as being “tough,” or maybe you like to play the part of “the nice guy,” but there’s evidence that shows you may be completely oblivious to the way other people actually see you.

A surprising new study titled, “Pushing in the Dark: Causes and Consequences of Limited Self-Awareness for Interpersonal Effectiveness,” shows that people fail to recognize whether they’re behaving too aggressively or too passively in the eyes of others. Unfortunately, this limited self-awareness can have serious consequences. …

If people perceive you as a jerk, they’re likely going to be less interested in conducting fair business deals with you. But, if you’re perceived as a pushover, they’re more likely to take advantage of you.

Increasing your self-awareness takes hard work. The key is a willingness to evaluate outcomes and a desire to examine how your attitude and behavior influence other people. Don’t be afraid to ask for feedback from other people. Often, what you discover about how others perceive you can teach you valuable life lessons if you’re open to learning.”


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