“The teammate you’re complaining about was hired by the person you are complaining to. The project you tell your boss is stupid was her idea. The organization you’re grumbling about was created by the people you are grumbling to. …
The difference between a leadaer and a follower is who moves first.
- Understand them first, then ask them to understand you.
- Connect with others first, then invite them to connect with you.
- Make others feel appreciated first, then call them to appreciate you.
- Serve them first, then ask them to serve you.
- See their dream first, then ask them to see yours.
- Feel their pain first, then share your frustrations.
- Listen to them first, then ask them to listen to you.
Don’t spank the gorilla. Give him what he wants. Appeal to his inner motivations. Make him feel safe. Start with others.”