We all lie

By Alex Lickerman via http://www.psychologytoday.com/   Article

Why be Honest?

“We all lie. Admittedly, most of do so only occasionally. But we still all do. Yet most of us also consider ourselves honest. In his book, The (Honest) Truth about Dishonesty, Dan Ariely offers evidence that we’re able to believe we’re honest even though we lie or cheat by doing so only in little ways. We’re therefore able to tell ourselves we’re mostly honest—that is, we’re only dishonest in ways that we think don’t matter. … Thus it seems we can have the best of both worlds without too much work: we can lie or cheat in little ways that place us at an advantage, but still get to view ourselves as fundamentally honest. …

most of the time we really do find ourselves getting away with it. So we continue to think of lying as a useful tool. …

Imagine developing a reputation for tactful but complete honesty upon which others know they can always rely. What an invaluable resource you’d become! People who say they want to hear the truth but are in reality more interested in being praised will quickly learn either not to ask you for your views or that the value of hearing the truth, no matter how painful, is greater than keeping their egos protected because it affords them the opportunity to reflect and self-improve. Others often have a far more accurate perspective on our character flaws than we do. If we’re genuinely interested in improving ourselves or our work, what we need from them isn’t flattery; it’s the truth.”


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