Who’s holding you hostage? Mastering difficult conversations, part 1: Conversations with difficult people
“Difficult people. Ah, one of my favorite topics about some of my least favorite people.
You know whom we’re talking about. They’re the high-maintenance ones who are easy to upset and difficult to please, who take everything personally, who whine, blame, complain, make excuses, feel sorry for themselves and where just the mention of their name causes you to have a knot in your stomach and walk on eggshells (aka their “thin skins”) around them. …
Now that I’ve already re-created that nauseating feeling in you by just bringing them up, it is only fitting that as not only a consultant, but also a medical doctor, psychiatrist and hostage-negotiation trainer, that I give you the cure.
Read my lips — or, shall I say, my words” “What makes them so difficult to deal with is not your fear of provoking or them, but your fear that after you do that, they will react in such an appalling way that they will so provoke and upset you that it will unleash a deep rage inside you, that you are so uncomfortable with and is so out of sync with how you view yourself.”
After all, since most of you consider yourself to be fair-minded, thoughtful, rational and reasonable, the thought of wanting to rip their head off is a tad unsettling.
Where there’s a way there’s a will
One of the greatest obstacles to success in a business is conflict avoidance. In reality, people avoid conflicts and the confrontations required to deal with them not because they lack the will, but because they lack a step-by-step way to do them without the fear that matters will become worse. Here’s your way to do it. ….”