The big mouth problem

October 14, 2019

By Dan Rockwell via  Article

“Leaders need big ears and small mouths. …

Those who don’t listen can’t learn. John F. Kennedy said, ‘…leadership and learning are indispensable to each other.’ (

When you feel a need to get something off your chest, keep your mouth shut. …

The ONE guideline for speaking is simple. Open your mouth to make things better.

5 powers of listening:

#1. Elevate status. Listening to others makes them feel important. Those who feel insignificant are less likely to make significant contribution.

#2. Increase energy. You never get the best from others when you close them down.

#3. Extend validation. The difference between validation and agreement is listening. You don’t have to agree with everyone, but skillful leaders validate with listening. People don’t need agreement, they need to feel heard. It’s more important to listen than it is to give people what they want.

#4. Strengthen connection. You can’t influence those who feel misunderstood.

#5. Express care. Leaders who don’t listen don’t care.”


Everything that irritates us about others

October 14, 2019

“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”

– Carl Jung


Baby steps

October 14, 2019

By Dave Ramsey via  Article

Dave Ramsey’s 7 Baby Steps

BABY STEP 1  Save $1,000 for your starter emergency fund.

BABY STEP 2  Pay off all debt (except the house) using the debt snowball.

BABY STEP 3  Save 3–6 months of expenses in a fully funded emergency fund.

BABY STEP 4  Invest 15% of your household income in retirement.

BABY STEP 5  Save for your children’s college fund.

BABY STEP 6  Pay off your home early.

BABY STEP 7  Build wealth and give.”


October 14, 2019

By Dan Rockwell via  Article

Ignore Your Feelings – Enjoy Your Feelings

“Feelings are coddlers and bullies. Feelings want you to take the easy path and beat you up when you do. When you avoid a tough conversation, you feel relief. Later, you feel anxious.

You’re ready to lead your first meeting. Your feelings scream, ‘Run!’

You’re stuck when you obey your feelings.

  • You don’t try new behaviors because you feel fake.
  • You stick with the known because fear says, ‘Avoid the unknown.’
  • You stay in bed because it feels good.

Enjoy your feelings.

How do you feel when you do something you should do, but don’t feel like doing? You feel relief, ‘I’m glad that’s over.’ You feel proud, ‘I’m glad I did that.’

Ignore feelings that encourage you to take the easy way. You’ll be glad you did. The best feelings come after you ignore your feelings. Ignore your feelings to enjoy your feelings.

You never gain confidence if you wait to feel confident. I’ve been giving presentations all my life and I still get nervous. I enjoy the feeling after I’m done, not before I start.

The feeling you want to feel is waiting on the other side of the feeling you don’t like.


  1. Feel your feelings, but don’t let them control you. Lean into scary aspirations.
  2. Use fear and anxiety as motivation for preparation.
  3. Just start. A small beginning is better than rolling over in bed.
  4. Stop criticizing yourself because you don’t feel like doing something you know you should do.
  5. Pat yourself on the back after you do something that you didn’t feel like doing.”

You shouldn’t be a manager

October 7, 2019

Via  Article

1) You do it for the money, not the actual job responsibilities

… While money is fair to be part of anyone’s work motivation, it’s a big warning sign you might be making a bad manager choice if their top motive is this. …

2) You don’t like dealing with people

Not everyone wants to spend their days helping fix people issues, listening to the problems of others, and developing people.  If they’re not excited to do those things, they probably shouldn’t be a manager. …

3) You don’t want to give up individual contributor work

Particularly for engineers and others in creative roles, it can be hard to give up doing individual work.  It’s easy to want to take the new manager title and keep doing lots of the ‘fun’ individual contributor tasks. …

4) You don’t have a Growth Mindset

The Growth Mindset is the idea that any skill can be learned. No one is simply ‘a natural’ and others doomed to never be good at it.  It takes hard work, but with effort anyone can learn and improve at a skill. …

5) You hate your job

If someone is clearly unhappy at work, then promoting them to manager is just going to create a bad manager. …

How can companies avoid promoting bad managers?

1) Create a growth path for individual contributors

If the only way for employees to advance in their career at your company and get pay raises is to become a manager, you will continue to attract people to the roles that shouldn’t take them. …

2) Promote based on a level of aptitude and interest in people skills

… it’s amazing how many companies will simply make someone a manager, because they like them or they’re a great individual contributor. …

3) Make it safe for a manager to decide it’s not for them

… spare that team suffering through that manager until either the team all leaves/transfers or the manager quits. You also save a potentially valuable team member by making a bad manager a happy employee again.”

Mistakes in managing people

October 7, 2019

BY  via  Article

Top 10 Mistakes Management Makes Managing People

Fail to Get to Know Employees as People …

Fail to Provide Clear Direction

Fail to Trust …

Fail to Listen to and Help Employees Feel That Their Opinions Are Valued …

Make Decisions and Then Ask People for Their Input as If Their Feedback Mattered …

Fail to React to Problems and Issues That Will Soon Fester If Ignored …

Trying to Be Friends With Employees Who Report to You …

Fail to Communicate Effectively and Withhold Important Information …

Not Treating All Employees Equally …

Throw Employees Under the Bus …”




Why management isn’t for everyone

October 7, 2019

By Maxine Mann via  Article

Accept you may be unpopular. If you’re an effective leader who has integrity and willing to keep information confidential, you will rarely be able to share why you made a certain decision —even if it was in the company’s best interest. This will make you unpopular at times. And if you don’t have the strength to accept that, then you’ll need some time to prepare yourself for that reality.

Understand the power of your words. What you said before you took a leadership role will be scrutinized and analyzed far more after you take that leadership role. Be sure your messages are consistent—and that what you say doesn’t offend anyone inadvertently. The comments you make as a peer versus as a leader hold much more weight.

Always listen. In meetings, make sure to ask questions. You’re not going to be present for everything anymore — that’s part of the job. Instead you need to make decisions based on information relayed from your team. The ability to really listen is a ‘make it or break it’ quality for those who wish to be a leader.

Trust your team. One of the most difficult realizations for new leaders is that you can’t do it all yourself. Even if you’re fantastic — if you try to do everything– you will fail. So, you’re going to have to trust your team will effectively execute ideas. It will free your time to focus on the many other tasks you will be juggling. If you can’t trust your team’s capability to critically reason and execute, then you’ll need to consider making changes to the team in order to get there.

It’s not about you anymore. Once you’ve become a leader, the reciprocity between co-workers—asking them how they feel or how work is going for them — is pretty much gone. If you’re going to be a successful leader, you’ll need to be okay with placing your sole focus on coaching and developing your employees.

Despite some of the challenges that being in a leadership may present, it is still one of the most rewarding things you can do. You’ll have the honor of working with intelligent people who push you to be better. And seeing a plan come together by a team that you led—well, there’s no better feeling than that.”